Jeff Foxworthy FanSite
Jeff Foxworthy Quotes
•I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living, ... I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.
• We don't do that here. We only take urine samples.
• Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
• glorious absence of sophistication.
• You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
• If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
• For a long time, because it goes against the message that the advertising world sends to you, they were ashamed they didn't have the coolest clothes, the coolest cars, couldn't afford to go here, buy this and do that. I think we finally all got together and went, 'You know what? We like being this way.'
• You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
• You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
• If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
• You might be a redneck if ...the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
• You don't have anything; you don't own anything.
• Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary: Words You Knew the Meaning Of
• I was like, 'Have you all heard me talk?' ... You know, nobody's making Seinfeld live in Indiana.
• Jeff puts his relationship first and foremost and realizes I do the same, so he really watches out for me and makes sure I don't have to do anything on the show that would upset David. I was warned when I started a sketch comedy show that they could be cutthroat, but it's been like a family.
• There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy,
• You might be a redneck if ...the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
• You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more
• If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.
• [Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
• The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
• Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother -- you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
• You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
• I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
• Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
• If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
• My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.
• With a comic it's always, What do we have in common?
• When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
• When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.
• What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
• If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy Discography
2004 Have You Loved Ones Been Sprayed Or Neutered
2003 Best of Jeff Foxworthy
2000 Big Funny
1999
Greatest Bits
1998 Double Wide, Single Minded
1998 Totally Committed
1995 Crank It Up: The Music Album
1995 Games Redneck's Play
1993 You Might Be A Redneck If...
1990 Livel
Jeff Foxworthy Charting Singles
2000 Blue Collar Dollar - charted #63 -with Bill Engvall & Marty Stuart
1998 Totally Commited - charted #70 - with Tim Rushlow
1997 Night After Christmas - charted #67
1996 Redneck Games - charted #42 - with Alan Jackson
1995 Redneck 12 Days of Christmas - charted #18
1995 Party All Night - charted #53 - with Little Texas
1994 Redneck Stomp - charted #67
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